I am a miserable failure at fasting. Tuesday was OK (and I tried to post then but something was down with this site). Mostly annoying. I was hungry but mostly just fed up with not being able to eat. Had to keep from watching TV because there were too many commercials showing food. I tried doing more prayer and bible reading, which helped, but I was in a pretty icky mood. By Tuesday night, I realized that I could not fast any longer. My breasts had no milk in them overnight and that really made DY upset. Daddy got up with him and gave him a cracker and some water and then got him back to sleep. Thankfully that worked. I didn't sleep well and when I got up in the middle of the night to pee, I was sooooo dizzy. I cried and realized that I really needed food. Not just for me but for DY, too.

Wednesday morning, woke up and ate a scrambled egg. I really didn't want to just totally give up on the fast but I need some nourishment. I decided that I would still not allow myself snacks or anything other than just the little protein I needed to survive on. I had a boiled egg for lunch. For supper, I ate salad and a baked potato. I definitely felt better today. My mood was much better. Spent more time in prayer.

Thursday, the fast was done. By realizing that I had totally flubbed up my committment, I had prayed forgiveness and fasted from my computer time instead. I had more bible reading time than usual but I know I messed stuff up by not fasting the entire time I should have. And I don't think God is necessarily 'mad' at me or whatever for not fasting but I do think I messed up by telling Him I would fast for three days when I didn't know what I was getting into. I definitely messed up.

Today, I think my mood is only OK. We are sooooo out of money. Sigh. It's terribly depressing. We're hanging in there on the promise that God will provide. We are behind on our tithe, for sure, but we did tithe our last paycheck. Daddy is keeping up with the tithes we haven't paid so we will hopefully be able to pay it all one day. But I told Daddy that I did NOT want to skip tithes any more. For any reason. I really wish I had known he was not paying them. I guess that's my fault for not being more involved in our finances.

I'm curious as to whether or not anyone is reading my blog. I know it's not that exciting but....IF anyone is reading this, would you please just write me a 1-second email to let me know?

We've attacked Afghanistan. For some stupid reason, only the stations not airing NFL football are showing coverage. I have to admit, though, that I haven't totally kept up with the coverage anyway. Trying to get together stuff for tonight's bible study.

I've also been trying to order the surgical masks that Dr. Mercola has suggested as a good tool of protection from germ warfare but I've had trouble AGAIN with the website ordering process. Have sent them an email but will not hear from them until business hours. I'm getting ready to have them, though! I'm really not afraid of dying but I sure would like to stay healthy for the time that I am here on earth. Plus, I really don't want my kids contracting whatever germs those crazy terrorists might send our way.

I read more of the book on fasting last night. I am getting excited about the potential. Very possibly going to fast Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I think it will help remove this awful feeling of being overwhelmed. It will help me turn my focus away from me and my needs towards the power and capabilities of the Lord. I'm ready for that! Praying that Daddy will want to join me in the fast.